Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
