Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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