that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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