if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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