Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
