she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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