I should be sponsored by Trojan
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
