It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I touched a dick in church today
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
