She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
