Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
