bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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