i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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