Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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