i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
