coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am one with the molecules
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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