That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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