I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
