yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
