Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
