I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
