So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
