we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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