hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
