Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
