Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
