Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
