I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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