I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
