She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
