I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
