he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
