I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
