so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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