At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
