There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
