Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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