Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
