Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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