I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
