those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
