we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
