I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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