He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
