glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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