OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
