Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
