ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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