Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
