He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
