Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
