why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
there is puke in my bra ... again
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