I want to walk on stilts...naked
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
