please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
